My Grandson Loved Trucks. He Was Bullied At School.
The obituary barely told the story.
It’s possible – no one will ever really know – that the news reports over simplified a complex issue.
And, at a time when a so-called “truckers’ convoy” was eating up news columns and minutes of airtime, a genuinely good story of a “truckers’ convoy” and some of its lessons were overlooked.
Dalton Thomas Wayne Frank, his obituary tells us, might be considered a classic, all-American boy from farm country:
He was an eighth-grade student at Eugene Grade School. As an active teenager, Dalton was a member of the Eugene Shooting Sports Club, archery club, track team, and youth baseball. He enjoyed being an active member of the Eugene FFA Chapter.
Dalton loved semi-trucks. He would spend hours working on them with his dad and uncle and was learning how to polish the aluminum wheels. He was a country boy who loved living on the farm where he could hunt, fish and raise animals. Dalton was also a talented artist and drew amazing pictures of semi-trucks that his family will now cherish. He also loved to play video games.
But this is more than a story of the too-early death of a thirteen-year-old entrepreneur who loved big trucks, started his own business polishing the aluminum wheels of big-rigs, always said he wanted to ride in a convoy, and, according to his family, seemed to be constantly happy. Last May, Dalton’s paternal grandmother, Debbie Frank, sought a discussion with the local school board after another 13-year-old died by suicide. After Dalton’s death, she wrote, “My grandson 13 Dalton Frank was bullied and slapped at school and went home to take his life. The school failed this wonderful young man. RIP Dalton.”
“This is just about a 13-year-old boy who was bullied,”” Dalton’s Uncle Carey Frank told The Daily Beast. “It has nothing to do with politics at all.”
Uncle Carey began organizing one final tribute to his Future Farmers of America, would-be big-rig-driving nephew, who grew-up around those power trucks that are so critical to America’s economy. On Tuesday, February 15, Carey started spreading the word among his fellow truckers.
One driver in West Memphis, Arkansas, unable to make the trip to Missouri, made a TikTok video: “I don’t like bullies. I don’t care who you are.” Then he reached for his CB radio microphone and made a “last call” to the son of a trucker, who loved trucks and was the target of bullying:
“Dalton Frank, you got your ears on? Dalton Frank, come on back, buddy. You got your ears on? Dalton Frank, his family, everyone connected to him, I am sending my prayers, my condolences... I know you do not know me, but once a trucker, always a trucker.”
On Monday, February 21, Dalton’s father and uncle secured the 13-year-old’s coffin on the flatbed trailer of Uncle Carey’s big, gleaming Peterbilt for the twenty-plus mile drive along Highway 54 from Eugene to the cemetery.
They were followed by a convoy of more than 200 trucks.
A truckers’ tribute to a kid with the heart of a trucker.
Carey Frank reported that all along the route “kids had their arms pumping, wanting to hear the horns” and truckers obliged, filling the air with a sound that was music to Dalton.
In the days after Dalton’s funeral Uncle Carey received a call from a Missouri school – not Dalton’s. “They said their kids came to school talking about a convoy for a kid that was bullied. And that’s what they’re going to talk about today. They’re going to talk about bullying.
“If it did anything, I wanted to make a big impression on people to say, ‘Hey, you got to talk to kids about bullying. It’s getting out of control right now with social medial and everything,’” he told The Daily Beast.
Bullies come in all forms and – unhappily – all ages.
Bullies – whether wife- or husband-, boyfriend- or girlfriend-, partner- or child- abusers -are – in the very marrow of themselves – terrified cowards. They’re self-righteous men or the outraged Karens yelling at the barista because their coffee isn’t at the desired temperature or Black people shouldn’t barbeque in the park. They’re science-denying, “I care neither for God nor His people” masking-refusers who believe they should be free to do whatever they want, even if they are endangering the health and lives of others.
Bullies thuggishly insist the whole world must conform to their “Bible-based” understanding of human sexuality and justify physically and emotionally assaulting kids and adults who are “different” or make the bully feel “threatened” or “uncomfortable” with the infamous “the Bible says.”
[You want “Bible-based”? Try
“When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening… When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both of them must bathe with water and they will be unclean till evening…”
Yup! Right there in Leviticus 15! And we won’t even mention what the same chapter has to say about women. The “according to the Bible” folks – the men - must have spent their entire adolescence taking showers; and Leviticus destroys the entire concept of marital intimacy.
Bullies howl “fake news” when Truth is revealed. Bullies scream “Second Amendment,” forgetting that the Nation’s Founders placed freedom of the press and of expression before the right to bear arms.
Players and coaches, parents and fans who shout racial epithets and make “monkey noises,” insulting Black members of opposing children’s, high school and college teams or professional soccer players who hail from Africa or have Muslim names – all while sheltering in the anonymity of crowds in the stands – aren’t just bullies. They’re cowards.
Theological and cultural fools who assault Sikh men in turbans, while calling them “Muslims,” glory in their fear and hate and take pride in their ignorance. They are bullies.
The punks who assault Asian immigrants and Asian-Americans and demean biracial kids are bullies.
Bullies deny the personhood of their victims; bullies don’t see the “other” as “created in the image and likeness of God.” Bullies are blind to the Divine in others.
Bullies are the governor who mocked mask-wearing high school students and called their obedience to their parents’ instructions “COVID theater… (and) ridiculous” during a March 3 press conference at the University of South Florida.
Three cheers – No. Make it four or five – for high school freshman Kevin Brown Jr. who decided to keep his mask on while standing behind Florida’s sucking-up-to-and-terrified-of-Trump governor Ron DeSantis. (One of the governor’s aides, apparently fearing the governor’s wrath and/or the optics of a teenager standing in defiance of a bullying wanna-be-president, pulled young Kevin from his position immediately behind the governor and out of camera range.) Bullies, of course, always need to “look good.”
“I was thinking I don’t know if I should take it off or leave it on cause it’s the governor,” Brown said. “He asked us to take it off but I thought about it and it’s my right to have my mask on.”
Kevin’s father, who apparently has taught his son to stand up to bullies, agrees. “I would tell (the governor) to stop bullying kids,” Kevin Brown Sr. said. His son was one of the seven Middleton High Schoolers stationed behind the podium at the governor’s event.
“His mother tells him to wear the mask,” Kevin Brown said. “I tell him it’s his choice, so he made that choice and the governor has no right to tell no kid or no one who they can or can’t wear a mask. He doesn’t have that right.”
The folks at the Web site Ditchthelabel.org interviewed 7,347 people about bullying and developed “strong, scientific and factual data to identify the real reasons why people bully others.”
Among their findings:
“Those who bully are far more likely than average to have experienced a stressful or traumatic situation in the past 5 years…(e.g.) their parents/guardians splitting up, the death of a relative or the gaining of a little brother or sister… (They) use negative behaviors such as bullying, violence and alcohol abuse, which temporarily mask the issues but usually make them worse in the long-term…
“66% of the people who admitted to bullying somebody else were male… for guys [showing emotions is] discouraged and so they start to respond with aggressive behaviors… as a way of coping with issues that affect them…
“In order to mask how they actually feel about themselves, some people who bully focus attention on someone else… to avoid negative attention directed at them… There is so much pressure to live up to beauty and fitness standards… instead of embracing our own beauty.
“Those who have experienced bullying are twice as likely to go on and bully others… Often it’s used as a defense mechanism and people tend to believe that by bullying others, they will become immune to being bullied…
“1 in 3 of those who bully people daily…feel like their parents/guardians don’t have enough time to spend with them… are also much more likely to come from violent households with lots of arguments and hostility.
“Without access to education, hate-based conversation directed at others may be the norm. They may not understand what hate speech is and why speaking about people in a derogatory way is not appropriate.
“Are more likely to feel like their friendships and family relationships aren’t ever secure. In order to keep friendships, they might be pressured by their peers to behave in a certain way… are more likely to feel like those who are closest to them… aren’t very supportive or loving.”
Bullies are murderers – too often killing spirits, souls and bodies
Each year, one out of every five middle and high school students reports being bullied.
Young people who are bullied are at increased risk for depression, anxiety, sleep difficulties, low academic achievement and dropping out of school.
37% of individuals report having experienced cyberbullying at some point in their lives.
60% of students who experienced cyberbullying report that it immensely impacted their ability to learn and feel save at school.
59% of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed on line and over 90% believe it is a major problem for people their age.
A 2017 report indicated that about six percent of students have digitally self-harmed or anonymously posted or shared hurtful content about themselves.
Students who are targets of bullying/cyberbullying are nearly two times more likely to attempt suicide.
Bullying/cyberbullying are highly associated with the development of low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, family problems, academic difficulties, delinquency, school violence and suicidal thoughts/attempts.
More than eight in ten students who identify as LGBTQ experience harassment or assault at school.
Students with specific learning disabilities, autism spectrum disorder, emotional and behavior disorders, or speech/language impediments experience higher rates of bullying than their peers without disabilities.
The next time you pass one of those big rig trucks on the road, remember:
Suicide is the second or third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
The next time you pass one of those big-rig trucks on the road, remember 13-year-old Dalton Thomas Wayne Frank and reflect on the words of his paternal grandmother, Debbie Frank: “My grandson 13 Dalton Frank was bullied and slapped at school and went home to take his life… RIP Dalton.”