Here’s Context
If “context is everything,” here’s context.
(This is one of those “strange but true and only in Miami” stories.) Once upon a time, the prelude to Sunday church services included disposing of animal carcasses – usually roosters, hens or pigeons – left at church doors during predawn hours.
The animals were sacrificed to the demi-gods (orishas) of Santeria, an Afro-Cuban blend of the religious traditions of Yoruba slaves brought to Cuba in the 18th Century and the Catholicism of the colonizing Spaniards - a cousin of Haitian voodoo.
It’s a synergistic – quid pro quo - religion: The faithful offer their sacrifices to the gods and the gods take care of the faithful. (A popular practice of Miami’s ‘70s and ‘80s cocaine cowboys hoping to protect their next shipment from the Coast Guard or DEA was to light candles in a Catholic church and then sacrifice a few roosters to the orishas – covering all their bases)
Twenty-first Century America has something similar: “The Prosperity Gospel” – send the televangelist or Facebook preacher a chunk of change (“seed money” – a tenth of your income is recommended) and God will reward you with an “abundant harvest” while that “godly” messenger buys another mcmansion or unit in Trump Tower or the new jet he or she absolutely needs to “spread the Good News.”
+++++
Would someone, please (!) get God a new cellphone!
Doesn’t even have to be an iPhone 15.
A 5 or 6 will do.
A lot of folks seem to have a difficult and jail-risking problem communicating with God.
The defense attorneys for one online preacher and self-declared prophet are going to have a hard time convincing folks that God spoke to Eli Regalado and told him to launch a cryptocurrency exchange. Colorado’s Securities Commission has filed civil fraud charges against Regalado and his wife, Kaitlyn, alleging they used Victorious Grace Church, their online ministry, to dupe over 300 investors out of $3.2 million the couple spent for jewelry, handbags, cosmetics, dentistry, and other benefices. Oh, and they diverted a couple hundred grand for “a home remodel that the Lord told us to do.”
In a video to his victims and adherents to his “ministry” and prophecies, Regalado explained, “One of two things have happened. Either I misheard God [Bad cellphone connection?], and every one of you who prayed and came in, you as well…. Or two, God is still not done with this project, and he’s going to do a new thing.”
“Regalado took advantage of the trust and faith of his own Christian community and … peddled outlandish promises of wealth to them when he sold them essentially worthless cryptocurrencies,” Tung Chang, Securities Commissioner for Colorado, said in a statement.
According to the state’s complaint, the prophet and his wife founded and marketed INDXcoin - unregistered securities – through their online “ministry,” Victorious Grace. Part of their schtick was quoting the Bible and telling folks their investment would result in “abundance” and “blessings” – omnipresent catch phrases in the world of “Prosperity Gospel” preachers.
In one of his prophetic videos Regalado declared, “It was last October [20]21, that the Lord brought this cryptocurrency to me. He said, ‘Take this to my people for a wealth transfer.’ It has been confirmed a hundred times since then.’”
Unfortunately for those who fell for the apparent con, the Regalados weren’t actually licensed to sell securities and had no crypto experience; their INDXcoins were not backed by any assets and could only be traded on the Kingdom Wealth Exchange platform, which a third-party auditor determined was “catastrophically technologically deficient.”
Give the Regalados some credit. At one and the same time, he managed to ‘fess-up and blame the Divine. In a post-arrest video he said, “The charges are that Kaitlyn and I pocketed $1.3 million and I just want to come out and say that those charges are true… We sold cryptocurrency with no clear exit plan. We did. We took God at his word.”
Prophet Regalado has an interesting history: between 18 and 21 he managed to rack-up criminal charges for possession of burglary tools, trespassing, assault, possession of stolen property, and aggravated motor vehicle theft. According to Regalado in one of his video sermons – from his church without a structure or in-person congregation – God spoke to him and told him to request a reconsideration of his eight-year sentence for aggravated motor vehicle theft. Seems God came through and Regaldo was released on probation. Then he “smashed a beer bottle over a guy’s face” at a house party and skedaddled. Once caught, he was again sentenced to prison and, again, heard the Holy Spirit telling him to file for another sentence reconsideration. He succeeded. “So I get out, and I’m just on fire for the Lord.” Regalado reported that he was “getting revelation upon revelation upon revelation.”
He also managed to rack-up two divorces, father two children, and party hardy with drugs and alcohol. In 2013 he founded a marketing agency and began crowdfunding to raise cash for startups. After experiencing personal and financial pressures, he resorted to praying in tongues and experiencing visions sent by the divine.
During the national COVID crisis, he created his own version of a home church, while experiencing some significant success with his fund-raising operations. In one of his podcast reports, he said God told him to hire a woman “to pray full-time” for his company – “for $60,000 per year.”
In 2020, Kaitlyn, who met Eli hours after he signed divorce papers with his ex-wife, became CEO of Grace Led Marketing. Her LinkedIn page listed her interests as “Jesus, Family & Business.” Two years later, the two founded INDXcoin and became a “prophetic team,” giving Zoom updates to investors. According to Colorado authorities, prior to launching the new venture in April 2023, an outside security audit gave the venture a zero out of 10 score. Nonetheless, they bragged that INDXcoin had been “proofed” by “the toughest, most legit audit in the world! And before we launch! We are so far ahead of 90% of the cryptos that have existed for years!”
Using biblical citations and prayer, the Regalados raised more than $3.2 million from over 300 investors, promising that faith in their investment “would lead to ‘abundance’ and ‘blessings,’” according to the Colorado investigation.
At one point, Kaitlyn declared, “Our developers have the mind of Christ. What’s impossible to the world is possible for God.” All this “in Jesus’ name.” When complaints started rolling in, the couple told investors they just had to “wait for their ‘abundance’ to materialize.”
In November 2023, Regalado implored investors to “stop being ruled by mammon (chasing material wealth).”
The multidisciplinary Religion and Public Life of Harvard Divinity School describes the Prosperity Gospel as:
“… a fast-growing theologically conservative movement frequently associated with Pentecostalism, evangelicalism, and charismatic Christianity that emphasizes believers’ abilities to transcend poverty and/or illness through devotion and positive confession. The PG is popular among impoverished communities, where at best it is considered to offer the poor a means of imagining and reaching for better lives (at times accompanied by sound financial advice), and at worst is criticized as predatory and manipulative, particularly when churches or pastors require heavy tithing. Members of the socioeconomic elite may also be drawn to PG messages, which affirm the religious and spiritual legitimacy of wealth accumulation and reinforce a worldview in which financial success is an indicator of moral soundness.
“The ‘health and wealth’ gospel has been prominent wherever Pentecostalism has flourished, beginning in the United States (represented by figures such as Kenneth Hagin, Joel Osteen, Creflo Dollar, and Rod Parsley), and spreading over the past three decades to Latin America, Africa… and Europe... Its roots lay in the American Pentecostal movement and in the post-World War II healing revival movement. Ideas about financial prosperity were introduced by Oral Roberts, whose ‘Blessing Pac’” asked subscribers to contribute funds to his preaching. He later introduced the ‘Seed-Faith’ model, in which the faithful made a donation to the televangelist preacher with the expectation of receiving a blessing, as in, planting the seed in his ministry with expectations of material return. Television and Internet media have been instrumental in the wide reach of the Prosperity Gospel, as well as large-scale events and ‘megachurches.’”
Paula White, who served in an official advisory role for the Donald Trump administration’s Center for Faith and Opportunity at the Office of Public Liaison, is the grande dame of the Prosperity Gospel in the U.S. She actively advocated for the administration’s immigration policy, including the detention of immigrant children separated from their parents, and offered opening prayers at Trump’s inauguration ceremony and when he launched his reelection campaign.
By her report, White became a Christian in 1984 at age 18 and, when
“barely saved, the Lord gave me a vision that every time I opened my mouth and declared the Word of the Lord, there was a manifestation of his Spirit where people were either healed, delivered, or saved. When I shut my mouth, they fell off into utter darkness, and God spoke to me and said I called you to preach the gospel.”
A dropout from the National Bible College and Seminary in Fort Washington, Maryland, she was ordained by the school’s founder, Pentecostal preacher and evangelist T. L. Lowery. Already married and a mother, she met (and eventually married) the already married Randy White and started her Paula White Today television show and moved through a number of ministries and churches.
Focus on the Family founder James Dobson has credited White with bringing Trump to Christianity, a somewhat spurious assertion in light of Trump’s repeated claim that he was reared and confirmed as a Presbyterian. In a written October 2020 interview mediated by White, Trump told Religion News Service “I now consider myself to be a non-denominational Christian.”
Now twice divorced and thrice married, White rejects the idea that she preaches the Prosperity Gospel. At the same time, however, her Web site, Facebook posts and YouTube videos are filled with appeals like:
“I Prophetically Decree and Declare Deliverance & Prosperity are Yours in 2019. This is the Year YOU Inherit YOUR Promised Land!
“With obedience to this first-fruits instruction and your faith, I believe your purpose, your year, your prosperity, and power will release blessing upon your entire year! Amen! And I declare the weight you have been carrying is lifted, let every yoke break off you NOW. For I decree you are about to INHERIT your Promised Land! 2019 is a year of deliverance and prosperity for you. It begins right now with the biblical principle of First Fruits.”
In 2016 Easter Sunday service, she said salvation would come to a TV viewer if they donated a “resurrection seed” to her ministry:
“There’s someone that God is speaking to, to click on that donation button by minimizing the screen. And when you do to sow $1,144. It’s not often I ask very specifically but God has instructed me and I want you to hear. This isn’t for everyone but this is for someone. When you sow that $1,144 based on John 11:44, I believe for resurrection life.”
And there was the rather ominous declaration a few years ago:
"January is the beginning of a new year for us in the Western world. Let us give to God what belongs to him: the first hours of our day, the first month of the year, the first of our increase, the first in every area of our life. It's devoted.... The principle of first fruits is that when you give God the first, he governs the rest and redeems in.
"When you honor this principle, it provides the foundation and structure for God's blessings and promises in your life. It unlocks deep dimensions of spiritual truths that literally transform your life. When you apply this, everything comes in divine alignment for his plan and promises for you. When you don't honor it, whether through ignorance or direct disobedience, there are consequences."
Quid pro quo-ing with God!
Despite all the chickens they offered to the orishas and all the candles they lit to invoke the protection of the saints, the vast majority of Miami’s ‘70s – ‘80s cocaine cowboys are either in prison or pushing up Easter lilies (pun intended).
But get ready! Preachers of the Prosperity Gospel are already preparing for election season 2024.
We’re gonna hear lots about “seed money,” “visions,” “God told me,” “abundance” and “great harvests.”
Don’t believe any of it.